1.13.2008

Breakdown

since i didn't really circle the day i quit smoking, i really can't say how long i've gone without a smoke. my best guess was that it was the week or so of thanksgiving.... which puts my record of quitting cold turkey from ciggs at just over a month and half. not bad.
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of course, that ended this evening as i "treated" myself to 2 ciggs this evening. the thing is ... and maybe this isn't exactly the right way to think of it ... i don't see it as a "relapse" though. i've decided that if i get so far as opening that pack again in the near future telling myself its "just" for one more .... i've decided i need to just chuck the pack in the trash (since obviously then i don't have the willpower to avoid ciggs when i know i have them in the house). but again, i don't see it as a relapse in my attempt to quit. it was a pleasurable smoke .. although funny enough, i have sort of honestly "loss" the taste for it a bit ... so i guess that's good.
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my new mantra i guess regarding my "resolutions" such as quitting smoking and eating better and just general better health-style is something like "its OK once ina while". Kahl, my new "personal trainer" has said regarding food you KNOW is bad for you ... as long as its "once in a while" ... its OK. so this week, i "treated" myself to an ever satisfying lunch box of fried chicken ... and not even thinking about peeling the skin off. Funny though, I still couldn't bring myself to eat the buttered muffin that came with it (since i figured protein even with all that fat is still somewhat beneficial, whereas empty carbs with fat ... is just nutritionally bankrupt) For about three weeks now, I have been making myself grow accustomed to always thinking "is that something i really should eat"... but directly coupled with that is "OK, i want to eat it but its really not that great for me .. so how can i make it better". silly things like making 5 egg omelets but using only whites, getting "dry" baked sweet potato as opposed to the glycemic index bomb of a regular baked potato (even without the "fixings"), eating cheese only if its for eating the cheese itself(as opposed to adding it to food), diluting with seltzer orange juice (yummy!) and pretty much all drinks really, reading reading reading ingredients, comparing calories, protein, carbs, and fats. etc, etc. and of course, once in a while eating a box of fried chicken :)
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and once in a while, having a cigarette. Nice.
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