Life Not So Fabulous
i was looking over my recent blogs and was wondering if my life of late has “appeared” to be a string of drag soirees and cake-baking contests. in order to alleviate that potential predicament however, i felt it would be useful to quickly note some of the “other” things that have been going on in the past month or so, maybe forgotten amongst the excitement of beautiful pastry and gay gay gay celebrations.
.
work has been just “work” to be honest. there’s a bit of the typical frustration with any job that sort of is in a ‘comfort zone’ of sorts. although being in general interested in the project that i am working on, i have been particularly turned off of late by the way my principal handles it. he’s a talented designer no doubt, but in terms of “people-managing” skills … there is still room for improvement lets just say. the core of my frustration i think stems from a feeling of “inconsequential-ness” of what i am doing at work. there is a lot of working and re-working, and re-working even though you know what you are re-working is causing more re-working … all in all, you can see how it can feel like a dog trying to bite its own tail. unfortunately, my usual response in a situation like this, has been to grow disinterested in the job. ironically enough though, less because of the disinterest and maybe more because of the ramifications of all this redundant work… coming in on the weekends is pretty common-place for me now .. at least for an afternoon one of the days. for a while a few weeks ago, there was a point where it felt like storms were colliding and i was a lost ship in the middle of that storming ocean. other than my “job” job, there was about a month’s time that i was also loaded by a personal side-project … my largest commission to date … that involved a multi-phase project of re-working some condo floor plans. it was an attractive project in the sense that it was easy and straight-forward work … but of course it was difficult because of the… timing timing timing… that is what kills you. so in addition to my “job” job and my personal side job, there was also the other side job of handling some business for my parents. they were currently undergoing two sale transactions for properties they own, one being a particularly difficult one legalistically and financial structurally… and they conveniently weren’t going to be in the country as well during the process. it was a crazy few weeks of secretly (ultimately not so secretly) calling and emailing lawyers, title officials, lawyers, realtors, and more lawyers mostly at work, missing my own work time to do closings (one lasted four freaking hours)… and at very end, communicating all across the country, as i was in San Francisco, “my” lawyer was in Houston, the buyers were in New York, the loan people were in North Carolina, and the buyer’s lawyers were in Florida… fucking eh! some how… i still didn’t have overages on my cell minutes that month??? go figure.. all in all i think i have about a thousand emails documenting the process… and at that time, i was seriously considering getting a crackberry. i’m not going to bore my dear readers with the specifics, but take it from me… it was a learning experience, one that i probably will not want to repeat if i can help it.
.
so anyways, in short… i have been busy with “work”. i sort of mentioned this, but i actually went to San Francisco for a weekend funny enough because of work. SWA was having there 50th anniversary, and they thought it would be nice to fly the entire firm (about 200 or so) to the San Francisco for the weekend, for a firm wide community service project (which was actually kind of cool once the day was over) and a an academic symposium (overall it was boring but got to hear Shigeru Ban and Thom Mayne and walked away with the itch to become more eco-friendly … since then, i have really pushed biking to work, started recycling, investigated how to harvest rain water, and trying to start a “less waste” initiative at work). the rest of the time was pretty much “free-time” which i used to explore the city a bit, saw the Herzog and de Meuron museum, experienced the San Francisco mass transit system and also met up with Sam (who now lives in SF) and hung out in the famous “Castro”. it was a very fun weekend all in all… lots of drinking, and just good fun all around. a massive hangover on the day we flew back, but other than that…. pretty good fun. would have loved to meet up with that guy i met a few months ago from San Francisco but he blew me off… oh well. i said he was imperfect, haha.
.
anyways, other than the San Francisco event, the company has also hosted their annual “Open House’… which had a middle eastern theme this year… filled with lamb kebabs and belly dancers and a hookah lounge… it was a amusing time. beyond those ‘work” related thing, not much else really has been happening. at home, i have been trying to continue on the bathroom renovation project, the first week, i got good steam and finished re-texturing the ceiling but then i sort of petered out after that. i still have to re-plaster the walls, paint the walls, install molding, faux marble, and redo the floors. the original goal was using October for the bathroom and then September for the kitchen so by beginning of December i could have all of it done (for my one year house ownership anniversary) but now i think if i get my bathroom done before December, i’d be happy. i will have to boast though, that i FINALLY got the garage cleaned out… haha the task i literally have been meaning to do since the beginning of the summer? anyways, it was surprising how quick it took, no more than an hour (although it did occur on a day i took off of work as more of “mental health” day). i’ve also “winterized” the landscaping, finally moving those ailing begonias in the main front beds, to just the small beds around the trees, and just leaving the main beds barren… resting time i guess for the winter. some where in December before Christmas i guess i should power-wash the driveway again as well. oh… decorating for Christmas… yippee! i didn’t really decorate for Halloween but i did FINALLY make that dried rose wreath i’ve been collecting and drying all my roses for… obviously, it looks fabulous! that’s pretty much it in regards to the home front i think. the “boys” have been over quite a number of times, from large get-togethers like the dessert course of the “progressive” dinner to small snack and movie offerings and this home has been warm with good friends.
.
speaking of good friends, i’ve already written that i am one good friend short now but many more good friends “more”. me and esau have not spoken to each other in maybe not two months and at least from my perspective, i don’t mind. to be honest, his absence from my life has improved my overall social situation i think… i have met more people and have had i feel more positively good times not hindered by cattiness. and to think that with even more gay men, it would even more catty… but somehow, my boys are allright. last saturday, nine of us went PF Chang’s for dinner, were sat at the “chef’s table” and had an absolutely raucous, hilarious time! kahl, bless his heart, has the most impeccable timing when saying inappropriate things. he made me the statement, i hope un-intentionally, of saying to the effect that it was obvious that the waiter knew the table was gay because once the topic of pussy surfaced, everyone sort of grimaced … but while the waiter came back to deliver the dessert. it was just too much for me! haha… that was really enjoyable dinner… good food, good drink, good friends. so yes, in general, i feel my social circle has flourished since leaving esau’s “fold” … and i sincerely hope he has also found new friends and is passing his free time with friends as well.
.
last night i had dinner with an old friend that i haven’t seen in a very long time, dr. bea (who i had met through esau… but who last night told me that she was hesitant to call me to hang out because it might involve esau coming!). it was a pleasure to see her again… well, sort of… she still wants to talk at length about her lesbian dating strategies and woes or what have you….ewww, you know you’re gay when you can’t even fathom girls getting it on with each other… haha! anyways, i had a good time with her and brought her up to speed on the whole rift with esau and she seemed happy with that. also had a small revelation that she helped with in terms of exactly what is behind the reason for me not calling the guys that i have numbers to. there are two numbers i have, one guy who i doubt really is all that interested, but another which i really think is, and seems really nice. despite my wanting to date, i wonder if the reason i don’t call these guys is simply because i’m scared of really jumping into to “dating” with the goal of getting into a relationship? i guess my little bout with dating in the summer was just sort of really only for fun… but i dunno… of late i’ve really been wondering if its “time” to get hitched again. over dinner, i told bea about the whoel ron and the note in the statue thing and waxed nostalgic about love in general. i dunno… maybe i really should call this guy.. what harm would it do… except for him to tell me i waited to long and he’s already dating someone else. would be my luck of course…
.
anyways, there are a few things to look forward to in the ensuing weeks… actually TONS of things… as this is the holiday season and everyone is celebrating and weekend times seems to be a premium these days. this weekend, i am going to dallas with hector, andy, and kahl. next weekend i’m seeing robert back in NYC, the weekend after that is Thanksgiving, which is always an affair (I think). there is an intermittent weekend that is still free between thanksgiving and my proposed anniversary party/ winter soiree (which i think occurs with the company party as well). then it’s a dual surprise party for andy and kahl’s birthdays, and then its basically Christmas, and new year, etc etc etc. again… life will be busy. even with out any dates, there is no lack of company. i guess life is not so bad after all.
.
.
work has been just “work” to be honest. there’s a bit of the typical frustration with any job that sort of is in a ‘comfort zone’ of sorts. although being in general interested in the project that i am working on, i have been particularly turned off of late by the way my principal handles it. he’s a talented designer no doubt, but in terms of “people-managing” skills … there is still room for improvement lets just say. the core of my frustration i think stems from a feeling of “inconsequential-ness” of what i am doing at work. there is a lot of working and re-working, and re-working even though you know what you are re-working is causing more re-working … all in all, you can see how it can feel like a dog trying to bite its own tail. unfortunately, my usual response in a situation like this, has been to grow disinterested in the job. ironically enough though, less because of the disinterest and maybe more because of the ramifications of all this redundant work… coming in on the weekends is pretty common-place for me now .. at least for an afternoon one of the days. for a while a few weeks ago, there was a point where it felt like storms were colliding and i was a lost ship in the middle of that storming ocean. other than my “job” job, there was about a month’s time that i was also loaded by a personal side-project … my largest commission to date … that involved a multi-phase project of re-working some condo floor plans. it was an attractive project in the sense that it was easy and straight-forward work … but of course it was difficult because of the… timing timing timing… that is what kills you. so in addition to my “job” job and my personal side job, there was also the other side job of handling some business for my parents. they were currently undergoing two sale transactions for properties they own, one being a particularly difficult one legalistically and financial structurally… and they conveniently weren’t going to be in the country as well during the process. it was a crazy few weeks of secretly (ultimately not so secretly) calling and emailing lawyers, title officials, lawyers, realtors, and more lawyers mostly at work, missing my own work time to do closings (one lasted four freaking hours)… and at very end, communicating all across the country, as i was in San Francisco, “my” lawyer was in Houston, the buyers were in New York, the loan people were in North Carolina, and the buyer’s lawyers were in Florida… fucking eh! some how… i still didn’t have overages on my cell minutes that month??? go figure.. all in all i think i have about a thousand emails documenting the process… and at that time, i was seriously considering getting a crackberry. i’m not going to bore my dear readers with the specifics, but take it from me… it was a learning experience, one that i probably will not want to repeat if i can help it.
.
so anyways, in short… i have been busy with “work”. i sort of mentioned this, but i actually went to San Francisco for a weekend funny enough because of work. SWA was having there 50th anniversary, and they thought it would be nice to fly the entire firm (about 200 or so) to the San Francisco for the weekend, for a firm wide community service project (which was actually kind of cool once the day was over) and a an academic symposium (overall it was boring but got to hear Shigeru Ban and Thom Mayne and walked away with the itch to become more eco-friendly … since then, i have really pushed biking to work, started recycling, investigated how to harvest rain water, and trying to start a “less waste” initiative at work). the rest of the time was pretty much “free-time” which i used to explore the city a bit, saw the Herzog and de Meuron museum, experienced the San Francisco mass transit system and also met up with Sam (who now lives in SF) and hung out in the famous “Castro”. it was a very fun weekend all in all… lots of drinking, and just good fun all around. a massive hangover on the day we flew back, but other than that…. pretty good fun. would have loved to meet up with that guy i met a few months ago from San Francisco but he blew me off… oh well. i said he was imperfect, haha.
.
anyways, other than the San Francisco event, the company has also hosted their annual “Open House’… which had a middle eastern theme this year… filled with lamb kebabs and belly dancers and a hookah lounge… it was a amusing time. beyond those ‘work” related thing, not much else really has been happening. at home, i have been trying to continue on the bathroom renovation project, the first week, i got good steam and finished re-texturing the ceiling but then i sort of petered out after that. i still have to re-plaster the walls, paint the walls, install molding, faux marble, and redo the floors. the original goal was using October for the bathroom and then September for the kitchen so by beginning of December i could have all of it done (for my one year house ownership anniversary) but now i think if i get my bathroom done before December, i’d be happy. i will have to boast though, that i FINALLY got the garage cleaned out… haha the task i literally have been meaning to do since the beginning of the summer? anyways, it was surprising how quick it took, no more than an hour (although it did occur on a day i took off of work as more of “mental health” day). i’ve also “winterized” the landscaping, finally moving those ailing begonias in the main front beds, to just the small beds around the trees, and just leaving the main beds barren… resting time i guess for the winter. some where in December before Christmas i guess i should power-wash the driveway again as well. oh… decorating for Christmas… yippee! i didn’t really decorate for Halloween but i did FINALLY make that dried rose wreath i’ve been collecting and drying all my roses for… obviously, it looks fabulous! that’s pretty much it in regards to the home front i think. the “boys” have been over quite a number of times, from large get-togethers like the dessert course of the “progressive” dinner to small snack and movie offerings and this home has been warm with good friends.
.
speaking of good friends, i’ve already written that i am one good friend short now but many more good friends “more”. me and esau have not spoken to each other in maybe not two months and at least from my perspective, i don’t mind. to be honest, his absence from my life has improved my overall social situation i think… i have met more people and have had i feel more positively good times not hindered by cattiness. and to think that with even more gay men, it would even more catty… but somehow, my boys are allright. last saturday, nine of us went PF Chang’s for dinner, were sat at the “chef’s table” and had an absolutely raucous, hilarious time! kahl, bless his heart, has the most impeccable timing when saying inappropriate things. he made me the statement, i hope un-intentionally, of saying to the effect that it was obvious that the waiter knew the table was gay because once the topic of pussy surfaced, everyone sort of grimaced … but while the waiter came back to deliver the dessert. it was just too much for me! haha… that was really enjoyable dinner… good food, good drink, good friends. so yes, in general, i feel my social circle has flourished since leaving esau’s “fold” … and i sincerely hope he has also found new friends and is passing his free time with friends as well.
.
last night i had dinner with an old friend that i haven’t seen in a very long time, dr. bea (who i had met through esau… but who last night told me that she was hesitant to call me to hang out because it might involve esau coming!). it was a pleasure to see her again… well, sort of… she still wants to talk at length about her lesbian dating strategies and woes or what have you….ewww, you know you’re gay when you can’t even fathom girls getting it on with each other… haha! anyways, i had a good time with her and brought her up to speed on the whole rift with esau and she seemed happy with that. also had a small revelation that she helped with in terms of exactly what is behind the reason for me not calling the guys that i have numbers to. there are two numbers i have, one guy who i doubt really is all that interested, but another which i really think is, and seems really nice. despite my wanting to date, i wonder if the reason i don’t call these guys is simply because i’m scared of really jumping into to “dating” with the goal of getting into a relationship? i guess my little bout with dating in the summer was just sort of really only for fun… but i dunno… of late i’ve really been wondering if its “time” to get hitched again. over dinner, i told bea about the whoel ron and the note in the statue thing and waxed nostalgic about love in general. i dunno… maybe i really should call this guy.. what harm would it do… except for him to tell me i waited to long and he’s already dating someone else. would be my luck of course…
.
anyways, there are a few things to look forward to in the ensuing weeks… actually TONS of things… as this is the holiday season and everyone is celebrating and weekend times seems to be a premium these days. this weekend, i am going to dallas with hector, andy, and kahl. next weekend i’m seeing robert back in NYC, the weekend after that is Thanksgiving, which is always an affair (I think). there is an intermittent weekend that is still free between thanksgiving and my proposed anniversary party/ winter soiree (which i think occurs with the company party as well). then it’s a dual surprise party for andy and kahl’s birthdays, and then its basically Christmas, and new year, etc etc etc. again… life will be busy. even with out any dates, there is no lack of company. i guess life is not so bad after all.
.
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