6.11.2008

My Sex and My City




last weekend my houston peeps and i went to watch the long awaited premiere of the movie Sex and the City, the movie version continuation of a beloved (by women and their gay friends, or gay men and their straight female friends more like it!) tv series. for the event, in classic alex style, i felt the need to go out on this special occasion with a little more ... hmm... pizzazz? so of course, i dressed up in drag .... in something of a simulation of "asian carrie". according to silly personality tests, i align most with carrie's personality, out of the fabulous four archetypes from the series. the get-up was well... worth getting up and taking a second look. suffice it to say i survived the night without any thrown beer bottles, a few compliments from strangers, plenty of weirded out looks, and only three blisters from the four inch heels i was wearing. fabulous! the movie itself was quite entertaining i thought ... a probably medicore film that simply because it came from a series so LOVED, it turned out to be a stupendous movie.
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my life has been a bit of sex and the city this past month or two i have to say. and what do i mean by that ... well, basically ... lots of sex and lots of attempts at finding a little more za za zoom in life .. the real, maybe lasting kind. a few posts ago, i said that it appeared i was "getting back into the game" ... going on a small handful of dates and looking forward to potentially some more. at this moment that i am writing this, unfortunately i have to report that there has been little real za za zoom, but a lot of sex ... so, maybe that is worth something? getting back into dating has been overall fun ... there has been actually some fun dates and maybe some not so great dates. there has been a little bit of thinking about what i want, but to be honest, i'm running a little bit on instinct right now ... very carrie bradshaw as she lunges into situation after situation that a thinking person might avoid ... because she "feels" her way into things. and we know how feelings often get you into trouble ... but hopefully trouble that teaches a thing or two.
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so who, where, what, when, is this string of guys that i have gone out with this past few weeks? well, there were three or so that i mentioned before ... two that were a bit younger than me (that has been one interesting development of this dating season ... that is dating YOUNGER guys) ... one who panned out to be pretty much a flake and the other one ... a promising candidate. let's call promising candidate "apple guy" ... because well, he works for apple. haha (no i am not dating him just to get a discount!). anyways, he's 25 but we've had two dates so far and each has been filled with a good amount of talking; he's articulate, which i've discovered is a necessity for me, handsome, reasonably smart, and there is a bit... a bit.. of that all elusive "chemistry" with him. we're suppose to go out again, but he travels as much as i do, so we haven't been able to make it ... hmmm... i dunno.
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i had also mentioned a guy that i thought was gorgeous ... he's blond (which is strange since i don't usually go out with blonds)... sky blue eyes. just very cute ... and he's NOT in his 20's. sounds like a winner huh? well, we went on a date, i shelled out TONS of money, and we went back to his place and did the nasty ... hmm, twice. haha! it was "fun" and all but to be honest, strangely again ... here is a cute guy who you can have "OK" conversation with, but for some reason ... its just a bada bing bada boom ... not so much the za za zoom. well ... at least we did it twice ... making up for the money i shelled out for this dude ... i insisted though so its not like i feel really bitter about it or anything. this guy is one of those i'll put in the back pocket to screw around with ... and, maybe because i get the feeling he has the same attitude, maybe that is where the lack of "chemistry" stems from.
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post gaycation, i've gone out with maybe 3 more guys ... well, to be honest, one guy was just a plain hookup... so ok, two guys. one guy i have been chatting with on and off since last year but because i wasn't really into dating for a while, kind of blew him off continously . anyways, i finally went out with the dude ... and from the GET GO ... like when he got into the car ... it was a mediocre experience. i wonder sometimes if it would be REALLY rude if you just expressed your first impression and asked your date if you "really" wanted to give it a go or not. i mean, through the whole date, conversation felt forced and there just wasn't any real connection. maybe i was just preoccupied from having a shitty day at work that day but i mean, i just couldn't get into this guy. i mean, i even "needed" a drink to feel more into it haha. and i hate to say this .. i actually started flirting with the waiter ... sooo bad. but again, i think the feeling was mutual, hence my question of if it would be rude to just nip it in the bud. would carrie have done that?
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in contrast, the other date i went on (now on the other side of the age spectrum at 40) was stupendous! i LOVED talking with this guy! he was funny, animated, all around conversant! he was "OK" looking ... a bit different than his picture would suggest .. but not bad for a 40 year old. anyways... the conversation was great ...we had beers then dinner and then came the time to say goodbye. i'm really bad at feeling out the situation in things like this so i tend to just let the other guy lead (well... i mean if i feel like i want to jet i make it obvious, but its usually when i like or kind of like the other guy for whatever reason, that i let him take the lead). to be honest, i think i would have gone home with him if he asked ... to make out you know, nothing really serious. but he was "gentlemanly" i dunno, and said goodnight, we had a short peck on the lips and went our own ways. not sure how to access the "success" of the date ... he gave me a text the usual three days later that said he had a good time but in general was vague and didn't suggest a second meet ... i replied with an equally vague text. i mean, he'd probably be no more than a friend i think ... there was a conversing "connection" but not one where i'd really want to throw him down and do him. which makes me wonder what then if the beautiful blond boy was just a physical connection?... he did have a sweet ass it turned out though ... haha!
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so there you have it ... a little sex and the city drama. you might be wondering ... god alex... just how many dates have you gone out on in the relatively past few weeks? well, i've always told people that my sex life (and my dating life) is often like rains in india ... drought... and then monsoon. and well... it's raining men here in houston.
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but any good sex and the city fan will know, that "sex" is really not at the core of what the show is about. it's about friendship. no not the fuck buddy situation friendship ... the real kind, the relationship between your peeps where you stand up for each other and support each other when you're down and depsite being potentially separated by vast distances, still believe that you are hearts beating very close to each other.
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in contrast to all the "sex" or lack of going on in my life, one thing has proven very consistent ... and that is my great friends. unfortunately, two of the best have decided that their stay in houston is coming to a close ... and god, there choice of new residence... i DO NOT UNDERSTAND. so kahl and andy are moving to saudi arabia.. well, technically they will be living in Bahrain and andy will commute into Saudi to work for Saudi Aramco. anyways... we have known for a "little" while that this was in the works, but when they dropped the bomb that they would be leaving at the begginning of July ... not even through the summer... that hit a little hard. i confessed something to kahl the other day and told him that i realized that maybe part of the reason i had so inactively tried to date... despite being probably well over ron by then ... was probably due to the fact that i was having so much fun with my friends, and felt such connection to some of them, kahl, andy, hector (the core) that having man to myself... really wasn't necessary. i mean i probably complained about being single, actually kind of bi-polarly if you look through previous post, but i think inside ... i really didn't feel the "need" to find "someone".
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it makes you think if my enthusiasm for dating of late is nothing more than something of a prescriptive maneuver subconsciously ... since i know that my social life will be significantly altered sans andy and kahl, that i'm searching for ...well... basically ... a replacement. maybe there is some validity to that... who knows.
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i do know that i feel like i will miss them horribly though. when i get into the mood of looking at strange coincidences in my life, i see things like how i was introduced to kahl and andy while my relationship with esau was going to shit, a few months after i broke up with ron, and now... almost strangely a full year after i became acquainted with them, they are leaving. maybe they were in my life for some purpose because for a long time i have to be honest, i haven't had friends that i wanted to do so much "for"... you know? i loved how they returned just as much warmness and hospitality and just friendliness as i felt i dished out. it was just great all around. and another thing was how the two contrasted each other so much yet in some strange way youc ould also easily see them as just one entity. despite having its ups and down, i think their relationship is one to envy or if not envy, take note of ... here was a gay couple that at least to me contrasted to all the other couples where you knew of less than hmmm.... traditional... things going on.
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i guess out of my relationship with ron, i had some serious doubts about how love worked ... maybe... if anything, knowing kahl and andy gave me a little glimpse of that. its just a shame they are leaving is all. they have been really good friends. this upcoming week, the whole "group" is having a going away dinner for them... and not to sound sappy, i actually want to "say a few words" or what not ... ala psuedo wedding reception almost. i think sometimes friends don't actually say out loud enough times how much the relationship means to them. it would be nice to say it at least once with these two.
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but yes, like the girls who became women on sex and the city, their lives have taken them in various directions, one of them not even physically on the same side of the country anymore, but their hearts are always in the same place ... no, not new york city per se ... but in some strange ether that binds the hearts of friends together.
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i remember a silly saying i put on my senior page in high school ... another time in my life where i made some friends i feel i will keep a lifetime ...
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The act of friendship is where another person gives you a piece of his or her heart to fill up the hole left from gim him or her a piece of yours. We shall not be alone. We shall not be afraid.

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