Stronger Moments
this morning i finally got off my ass and went jogging in the morning. its my small little victory of the day, owing to the fact that i have been trying to gte myself to go jogging in the morning for a whole month now. my "health regiment" has been periodically degrading into a laughing stock for a while now, to the point that the only "healthy" thing i do is pop some multivitamins in the morning. i was doing well at the beggining of the school year with running and swimming and all that and i think i remember feeling more energetic. so in response to sort of feeling kind of down and out and trying to "run away" from another nasty cold...which i am sort of having now, i decided to get some natural inner heat going. and i had to drop off the office keys at esr anyways this morning so i just made my run go by there. now the real question is if i can keep it up. heh heh. honestly though, i really should also try to get to the gym because i paid $75 already and have been to the gym and whopping like two times this whole semester. them is expensive gym passes no? hell...
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while waiting for someone to show up at the office this morning, an interesting yahoo news story caught my eye detailing the rising rate of asian american youth being bullied in the american school systems and the often lack of response by authorities. well duh ... is that news?! it was interesting to see the statement... "In the broadest strokes, Baldillo said, Asian youth are sometimes small in stature and often adhere to cultural mores urging them to avoid confrontation and focus on academics.". so... you saying we is small and won't fight back. one wonders where this cultural stereotype generates from because stereotypes are stereotypes in terms of generalizations, but they must have their genesis somewhere.
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thinking about my youth. i know i was spared a lot of outright racism from my environment, either that or i was completely oblivious to it, which could be a possibility owing to my distinct naievete. i grew up in a mainly white environment so the fact that i was different was obviously... obvious. however, and i have expressed this on many occasion, i think my pysche has in many ways developed around this idea of uniqueness and has transformed what could have also been a handicapping feeling of exclusion, into a self-affirming notion of individualness. of course, conversely one could argue that is was a self protective mechanism from a feeling of subtle exclusion... a who needs them... mentality. i have always "enjoyed" being one of the few and often when in a large group that i could assimilate right into, if i wanted, i often find myself voiceless, not sharing the group mentality, or openly bemused and antagonized by the "uni-mind" nature of groups. i mean, this might just be a manifestation of a character trait of being a "loner", which i won't argue against too much, but still...i find others, and myself... much more interesting when i am the only... fill in the blank... in the group.
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one of the few times i think i was actually blatantly bullied was when i was in i think third grade and this little polish boy (i don't remember his name but i remember he was polish... go figure) who i happened to also walk home on the same route with would horribly taunt me. i "think" i remember being very much harassed and phsyically pushed around, to the point that he really did make me cry. or at least think so. but somehow, i also remember that in a very strange sadistic way, the kid was also "trying" to make me "fight back". now mind you, maybe this either was a kid who knew i wouldn't fight back and capitalized on the whole sissy boy tactic, or actually a kid who just wanted to fight and was really picking a fight, or possibly a kid who wanted someone who he considered a "friend" to stick up for himself. who knows what goes through the mind of an 8 year old? but the more i think of it, the more i don't think this kid bullied me ... "a lot". maybe it was just that day where he actually made me cry after he pushed me to the ground and wanted me to hit him back, that kind of typecasted my complete memory of him. and in some ways, i do kind of remember the kid wanting to do "friend" stuff like coming over and watching tv and stuff. so maybe this type of violence was just what little boys are suppose to do... the cowboys and indian thing?
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well... spoken from someone who has never gotten into an actual fight, i'm not exactly sure if i can say if violence is ... completely... a bad thing. i mean for people who have never gotten in a physical fight, one wonders... could you? would you? and for what reasons and motivations? now i wouldn't support joining an "asian gang" like it suggests in the article that many tormented youth resort to, because violence only perpetuates more violence.... but this is curious? could vessels of violence be a good thing for society? i mean, there are unending examples of suppressed sub-culturals who must literally "fight" either for equal representation or simply to not live a life where they are continually in danger, just for being who they are... and it is this fighting that in the end helps define them as "asians in relation to whites". it's definitely arguable that any human socialization is based in part on strife, pain, and physical violence between groups.... a us versus them mentality.
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in darwinian terms, survival of the fittest? racism, sexism, homophobism, any "-ism" as a human instinct to preserve what one believes is one's kind but equally in converse, the reverse "-ism" that solidifies a group that is undervalued by the group generating the initial "-ism". good or bad?
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a small theory of mine up for facetious, and hopefully humorous consideration. "asians" (a broad, ridiculously vague categorization) make up the majority or the world's population and incrementally that majority is growing still due to certain parts of asia still possessing relatively high birth-rates. zooming down to the "american asian" experience. we as a group, have been termed, in a phrase conveniently congratulatory and biting simultaneously, as the "model minority". of "non white" (again, amazingly vague categorization) populations in the united states, we are arguably the richest, the most well educated, the most pervasive in small yet accumlative ways, in business, politics, society, etc. Miscegenation issues, although still quite prevalent, are arguable "smaller" between white/asian pairings than other mixed race pairing. it is not uncommon to hear about asian americans in all levels of government and would it honestly be so difficult to consider an "american" of asian ethinic lineage running for president? hmmm, maybe now yes, but arguably "almost" on par with the idea of a woman or a black president.
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in economy, the asian influence bears more and more weight. one can't talk about numerous economic ventures now without mentioning something about the effect that asia's economies, like china, are in having an effect on the american / western world. and on home shores, property, business, transaction are growing more and more "asian american". and the stereotype of asian high academic performance has well percolated through the american pysche, and is well backed up by actual statistics. in relation to upper tier universities, being asian could actually work "against" you, simply, to be blunt... there are too many highly performing asian applicants and to have a campus become majority asian (like many californian universities for that matter) might smack of "race-preference". (funny how race-preference sort of evolved after affirmative action ideas and schools which had been overwhelmimgly white weren't really race-preferences, they were just racist). all in all, my point being, and hence the theory...
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have any of you "white people" ever thought what... if... it was all part of an inter-generational, multi-border, socio-eco-political... masterplan? a "chip" ticking in every asian's head to the day when there was enough social, economic, and political control to change the racial power balance, which is so declasse these days to think of in terms of race, but could be easily boiled down to it? a masterplan that pairs a developing asian homeland, seeking to create an irrevocable statement of its social, economic, and political significance on wordlwide affairs... and a more subtle socio-eco-political... indeed cultural plan... down to the visceral details of racial interbreeding... a plan of the usurptation of power in the most powerful country on this planet?
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ultimately, the question is ... what would it matter if china (or asia in general) became a contestory world superpower to the united states, if the united states is already run by asians? the genius (cackling laugher!) of the plan is that the enemy you think you see growing and threatening to invade what you call home, and is indeed there... preoccupying your attention, but is also working in strategic, subtle tandem with an enemy already amongst your own... your business partner you went to harvard with, your neighborhood professsional from doctors to your favorite chinese greasy spoon, your wife and your beautiful children with green, almond shaped eyes.
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your partners, your friends, your loved ones ... all vicious enemies determined to drive your "kind" into the ground... flat out genocide ... at a flip of a switch.
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such irony is not unheard of in history.
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and all because that kid beat me up in third grade...
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ha... ha... ha. ok... guys, just to let you know? that was just bullshit... in such a paradigm like that, i'd be turned into fertilizer because like i stated before ... not really white, not really asian ... just special ... and that's how i like it.
posted by faux chink @ 11:19 AM
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