Senioritis and the World's Best Cure for It
alas...i got my test results back and oh my god, i got a bad case of senioritis. so bad i think its putting me into the blues. i was speaking to my coworker the other day about how i have been feeling sort of down and out for a few days, but not really knowing why. she suggested that maybe it was just a reflex from this "senior-itis" i have been having. it makes kind of sense, in the way that because senioritis gives makes you feel basically... unenthused about anything, or simply antsy to get outta here... without doing the necessary thing you use to do without question, it probably has an effect on your "general" outlook on life. when i get depressed, one of the most common manifestation is a sense of "listlessness" or lack of direction in "life". so manybe senioritis has gotten me so down about being in school and having to put up all this silly shit that it has stretched into a general outlook on life, if but only subconsciously. i mean, i think i would rather do anything BUT school work... give me more travelling interviews, haha. well, maybe not. the exhaustion from last week's unending air time probably set up these past few blue days.
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but i am getting better and speaking of jobs, i believe i had already written a blog entry about my fast offer 2 hours after my interview, but also since then two more offers have come in. a kind of disappointing money wise offer from my dallas potential (so disappointing i can't even bring myself to seriously consider it)... and then a fairly healthy offer from the houston firm i traveled down to interview with. so i am still waiting for philly to get back to me to see if they even want me and also for the other houston firm, which seemed to be a great "professional" experience, is going to offer, although i've gotten a note that a proposal letter is being drafter. hopefully it will be at least considerable to my other houston offer... but i guess that is where negotiation is gonna happen. you know, ultimately i just want to be able to feel like the past two years of work AND the past two years of school have been "worth" something... meaning higher pay or better position (usually synonomous of course!)
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other than that though, the week has been sort of listless. a few nights i tried to bring myself to work on studio but i am having major impediments to it for some reason. i dunno... again senioritis...i just don't want to be here... but i am begginning to get freaked about my lack of work. i eventually had a saturday pin-up that suprisingly didn't go as bad as i thought it would... my professor basically saying that i am going definitely in the right direction, it's just that i simply needed to produce work that was more defined and worked out and bigger... clearer... chunkier... ok, not that. heehee. anyways, for that shit i basically worked some on thursday during studio, some friday night for a bit, and then saturday morning for a bit. but its true, i really need to do some work though. i dunno, i almost feel like i got to cock myself with more and more tension and anxiety so i can just go on a work frenzy! but you know... we only have two weeks left untile the final review! AHHHH! but then again, my whole architectural life has been about pulling out an idea at the last minute for some odd reason... more studios than not, i had no discernible final form till like a week into the project.
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all in all this has been an easy semester. i have a final project left, a group real estate project that i know personally i am gonna half ass anyways and let other people pick up the slack. sigh! and then a paper at the end of the semester, a week after final review on housing policy... a short 3 minutes presentation about it before... blah blah blah. haha... so excited about school can't you see!
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i think i am doing ok pyschologically at the moment, i think part of it has been the fun fun weekend i have had. at first it didn't seem like it would be that fun, when i found out saturday would be the pin-up. friday night was a serious effort to fight off procrastination... especially after playing some squash, having dinner, coming back and thinking... i'm going home to sleep a little. so i did, and came back to studio at around 11:00 pm.. and worked till maybe 1 or 2. haha, and then i well.. was naughty, and met up with a guy i had talked to before who made a booty call, for lack of a more refined word. nice guy, was visiting for the HBS admitted students weekend. anyways, it was nice to get off, go to bed, and sleep well. haha. unfortunately the next morning i awoke around 8-9 and still felt knackered. but i had to drag myself to studio, finish some plans and sections, but of course... senioritis hit again and i went to have a leisurely lunch. coming back in time to do more section b4 being bumped up in the pin up schedule... but that was ok. i realized another drawing wasn't gonna change much... and in general it went ok.
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after that i did some research on provincetown lodging because robert and i are planning another weekend bash there at the end of the school year. it will be nice to see him one last time, if it is so that i am moving back to houston (which most likely it seems honestly). and after that guess what... booty call again. guess the previous night's guy saw something he liked. hey, not to sound harsh... but you know... this guy was starting to get a little icky sticky. i dunno, must have been a newbie in the sense that he seemed a little too "eager" to "plan" our lives together. haha, oh well... now that i have become an asshole, i'll say it... you and our... are just this, what we are doing now... not anymore... so stop thinking about it. hmmm... i gasped while i wrote that.... deep down i'm still a softy.
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then after those exercises i met up with chris and a co-worker of his at a boston she-she bar and ira also came with. it was a nice time and the two strong drinks i had hit the spot well. the crowd was fun and the music tolerable... unfortuantely, later in the evening we got kicked out of "reserved" table and stood around a little weirdly waiting for our last drinks (which were never ordered) and our cards (which we waited for quite a while for). i mean, it was busy, but it was kind of lackadaisical service. anyways, ahhh.... back to harvard square and an ice cream drumstick later (had a sweet tooth attack i dunno).... found myself at home...ready to snooze. what a full day that was!
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and today promises to be no less.... i have done laundry, cleaned house, dropped off dry cleaning, called through the list of potential ptown lodging, will have meetings, do more studio, and go see a movie. yowza!
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i gots to get my act together about school soon though...if but for only the next 2 weeks. then i am scot free! yowza.
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posted by faux chink @ 1:19 PM
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