Rites of Passage
tuesday night i was all excited to take my mom out on the town for her birthday. she if now the big 49! man... 49.... old! heehee.... funny that everytime i tell people the age of my mom, they say... wow... she's really young! haha. but hey, i guess i don't know what i'm talking about since i didn't have a kid when i was 22! anyways, basically the night out on the town was just a nice dinner at a fancy schmancy restaurant. actually it really was the high point of my tuesday though, work of late has been a little of a snoozer. well... not exactly a snoozer since the funny thing is that i in a weird way am sort of "managing" a group of people for one the first times in my life... coordinator would be more of an appropriate term, as the real supervisor had to go to the other side of the world (india) and dropped a deadline into my lap. haha. but hey... its fun. anyways, so afterw ork i squeezed in a little gym time before heading to the restaurant, called Skyline... and its basically one of those restaurants that has a superb view on top of a premier hotel in the city. funny though, the real fancy schmancy restaurant at the hilton is on the ground level, whereas Skyline, although haute cuisine is maybe a notch below. whatever the case, i met my parents at the restaurantr and overall... it was a fabulous evening. they for once, loved the resturant i took them too... the view is really to die for and and the food is great to boot. 3 out of four of us enjoyed our entrees, and dad, who didn't care for his... actually got to get it sent back... got a different dish.... AND.... we weren't charge the dish... either one! well, the evening really was fabulous... and now, even almost a week after the event, i feel that i'm still riding the wave of good feelings from my mom, from it. haha.... score.
.
this week has been typified by lots of eating out funny enough. other than tuesday, had dinner with jake both monday and wednesday... and actually saturday. we had an interesting development in our blossoming friendship this week i have to admit. monday i took him to a 9/11 film thing at MFAH and that was fun enough, after that we had an MSG saturated dinner that then gave me heart palpitations driving home.... and then wednesday we did our developing tradition of onion creek, along with this other guy he invited that he is psuedo dating... meaning the other guy would like to "date" him but jake's supposedly isn't interested. but here's what i was talking about, after what seem to be a fine dinner to me, later that evening on IM, he begins to tell me that i've been pushing him around a lot or what he think is being pushed around! anyways, he told me that i berate him, belittle him, and don't support him in his tribulations (the latest being that his previous "best" friend is still too proud to "apologize" for the trivial (i think) infraction that occured between them a few weeks ago. i guess my blunt, just "get over it" approach, was not appreciated... and then he starts chiming in that he doesn't understand how i can be so unfeeling and cold and that such lack of emotions will eventually just make me incapable of understanding "real" freiendship.
.
jake... despite what he says, is an emotional nutcase. however, i find him kind and amusing, and funny enough, still oddly flirtatious, that i'd like to continue our friendship. because i really didn;t understand the allegation towards me, i figured they couldn't be that serious, so i basically acqiuesed and pleased that everyone works in different ways but if i have offended him, it was indeed unintentional but i apologize for it... which is quite true. the issue more or less blew over, i left him a message with an apology attached, i i think he didn't feel the need to really verbally hash it out (although this experience tells me that one should never discuss important issues via IM!), and we ended up having a fun time on saturday. i took him to another MFAH thing saturday because mei couldn't go (unfortunately, her mom is having some health issues so she had to go back to taiwan... hope everything is ok!) and i honestly had a good time with him. jake is bitchy and neurotic... but he genuinely nice and caring... haha... kind of like a mom!... and to be honest, he is cute in a way... which haha... i have a weakness for cute latin men of shorter stature who have a permanent 5 o clock shadow. we ended up meeting some friends of his for dinner, which i found thoroughly exciting because everyone at the table had traveled so much throughout the world... i love the conversation of international travel.
.
hmmm...i think my only non-eating out day was thursday... which can be a nice respite i have to say. but respite not for long as i went out on friday with mr. d again. we had a fun time... our "entertainment' of the evening was somewhat of a date downer though.... watching the play "A Normal Heart" by Larry Kramer, the angiest gay man in new york in the 80's. yeah... lots of downer stuff... and a freaking long play. it was very good though but left us hungry... actually...really hungry...we jetted that place in search of food immediately. something happened at the play though that got me thinking. mr. d told me he saw a guy there who apparently had been fucked by his roomate in a stall at some local bar. not that the story itself is really all that novel... but i dunno... i'm still old fashioned... and the idea that you see someone and that's what going through your head (you dirty little stall slut! haha) is still kind of unnerving. i mean, i'm no angel at all... but still, i like to keep my escapades somewhat... mysterious.... although in this town..... nothing really is ultimately.... the houston gay community is all connected by seven degrees of "little slut who got fucked raw in the stall of JR's". so to speak.
.
after the play, mr. d. and i drove around half of the west loop in search for food... it was somewhat late as we didn't get out of the play till 11 ish so not every place was open. anyways...eventually we lucked out and ate at bennigans... where everything went well... actually VERY well... i really got to know more and more of mr. d..... and we even did a little flirtation..... but despite that... he AGAIN was checking out other men... and AGAIN he asked me... if the guy at the next table was cute! oh GEEZ! ok alex.... this is a tie breaker indeed.... so next time ya'll go out (i'd like to go out again!) we've got to put the law of the land down and ask him... what the fuck is he thinking! might as well be the pyscho jealous bitch you know you are now early... before things get serious.
.
and what is serious?.... again, lately that thought has pervaded my mind...as that was date #3....and REAL dates... with mr. d. i do "like" him.... and OMG...we had sex in my car already (which was totally not good for my little "plan")... but still... i'm unsure.... if i even want to have what i think this may lead to. he's calling me now just to chat and tell me about his day... which is all nice... and in no way do i mean its at all "stalker-ish".... but still... i think both of us... might be on a little bit of slippery slope... and i'm not sure if i want to be on it.
.
i want friends.... a boyfriend would be "nice".... but somehow i don't want that to preclude being able to meet more people as "friends". again... the very dicey situation of gay friendships. or maybe not.... is it actually easier to make gay friendships if its clear that you're attached already?.... haha... maybe if i want to make friendships with absolutely hot boys i could only dream of actually having... haha... they won;t feel the pressure... but still... gay men are so laxed in their definition of "monogomany"... it'll always be an issue. oh well... play it as it goes i guess! and one more thing.... am i on the slippery slope of not having any straight male friends anymore? or god forbid... lesbian friends! heehee
.
and today... sunday... was a unique day of sort. it was one of the rare days that i actually spent the far majority of it at HOME.... i didn't go out at all! and i actually spent it with my parents. it felt new funny enough... but good. i got some random things i've been meaning to do out of the way and helped my mom out with some things. since our last little tiff (my mom blew up randomly last weekeend because i didn't think of her when i bought some coffee and she felt rejected and distanced from... which in some ways if late are true to a degree... but classic mom, her emotional explosion was vitriolic and over-exxagerrated (remember coming out!?)... funny thing is... she apologized for it only an hour later... while i was at my cornell alumni thing)) i've been consciously trying to do a few things here and there to redeem myself... some of the things she said in her diatribe were somewhat true.... and i do want to be a good son! anyways, i helped her with some stuff today... just talked to her.... funny how... people just want to talk... attention... is a drug! :)... and we even ate together... at home! twice! haha....i'm saying this as if it all so new... but actually.... now thinking about it....we don't do that often now that i'm working and so intent on my "social" life... so yeah... its nice.
.
i got asked our today by a guy i've been talking to here and there. in a strange mood of no bullshit... i told him it was a "non-date"... just a coffee to get to know each other and see if we could be friends first... and then letting things shake out where they naturally would. haha.... maybe that's all the thinking needed. but hmmm... mr. d.... what am i gonan do with you? and jake, what am i gonna do with you? and mom.... haha, i'm still trying to figure it all out.
posted by faux chink @ 10:01 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home