Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder & Other Trivial Discoveries
again, i have to apologize for being lax about putting up an entry. i did however, as you who do read this, hopefully have noticed, that i've changed the look of my blog a tad. pretty superficial, just like switching around your furniture. anyways, hope you like it, if nothing else, something new to look at.
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so my god, what has happened? i'm just going to go stream of consciousness on you baby because i don't know really where to start. it has been a busy few weeks though. if nothing else, work is a great example. for the past two weeks, i've probably put in more "overtime" than all the overtime i ever put in combined prior to the last two weeks. it was mainly for this karachi project that i am working on, with a guy i swear that has adhd. and i'm not the only one who thinks so, it seems this fellow has a distinct reputation for just being difficult to work with. nice guy, sucky partner in work. why? the boy loves "coordination" meetings, is a control freak, but fucking has the attention span of a gnat's ass, and can't sit still long enough to get anything sizable done... and if he did... works sooooo slow! reason being that it seems he finds no problem in "living" at the firm more or less, hey... some free meals bc of overtime is cool.... but I LIKE going home! anyways, one evening which i'll try to forget... i did stay till like 12 AM... i know that's really nothing compared to school... but STILL... i am NOT a grad student anymore. haha... seriously though... all in all... i probably put in at least 3 extra days of overtime. and the kicker is, since i am salary... there is no "overtime"... so i just hope my adherence to the job and team spirit have been obvious to my boss... who, just recently got promoted to "principal". actually that's kind of cool... at least if i am to be a "right-hand" man... more like a personal assistant sometimes... might as well be one to "the" man! anyways... i think i am showing a good leaf though. funny, i only started working for this guy on the premise that it would be a "bridge" week between my first project at SWA and then my supposed china trip (that never happened!)... but hey... that got pushed back... and back... and back... and now well... i'm part of the middle east crew now! haha... i was perusing the client job proposal letter today and realized that i am listed as a project "landscape" architect... HAHA! at least i'm not on the bottom rung of the pay scale... just second to bottom rung haha!
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anyways, the only other thing i can remember work related that was sort of interesting, was a pot luck lunch as an early thanksgiving at the office... just people bringing food... not much thanking actually haha. anyways, i originally was going to make my famous roasted duck and i did freaking buy all the ingredients (also stuff for the chesnut and mushroom soup i made back on that thanksgiving i had with robert in jersey) but i realized... why the fuck should i spend like $80 and hours of prep and cooking... to feed "work" people... i rather share it with family... and earn real brownie points! haha. so i chickened out and just bough my roast duck... and even worse... just got my folks to go buy it. haha. hey ... what works works. after i made my roast duck dinner (for mei's return from taiwan... yes she is finally back.. she's been gone for 2 months!)... the leftovers i took to work... to prove to my co-workers... who are like asian martha stewarts... that i also had some mojo in the kitchen.
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i am not sure if i have mentioned this, but i do interviews for harvard applicants... its just the relatively informal interviews that alumni give to local applicants... but its kind of fun. i had three kids, the past 2-3 weeks... all asian... and funny enough... all in order of how much i was impressed by then... first... not so much... second... better.... third.... i really hope he gets in. no biases... but 2 girls, 1 boy... and the boy was definitely the winner! anyways... it was just fun to dig into the brains of these 17 year olds... and it made me wonder if i was being too hard. my main gripe was that most of these kids didn't really grasp "why" they wanted to succeed... there was not real "passion" or "motivation" that was personal.. that i could find. the motivations were mature.. i mean, like "hard work pays off"... or "others have sacrificed for me"... but they weren't... i dunno... "self-interested"... they weren't.... animated? i dunno... they just was no umph to their description of what moved them... or if there was... it was trite and obviously rehearsed. anyways... the one guy i did like... i wrote a glowing recommendation because i really did feel like you knew exactly where he stood on things and even better... he knew himself... where he stood... and he was comfortable and proud of it... indeed, he validated his own existence! first rate.... in my book.
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last week, during OC night, we celebrated esau's 28th birthday (god.. mine is only a measley 5 months aways... ahhh!!! i thought the 27th year was gonna be IT! heehee.... maybe it will be ;-) ) it was fun... i got a flying saucer pie that he loves and we did a whoop da whoop da. the following friday, because my urban cowboy didn't roll into town (i'll speak more of this later), i went out again to have dinner with esau at this great japanese place called Zake's (very good.. but on the weekends its ridiculously loud... literally club loudness! i just went back this evening... OMG.. the BEST hamburgers! YUM!) Esau told me a funny thing... he said... that i basically was his "best friend" now... haha... wow... crazy. but sweet. he also told me all this other shit about his current boy troubles (duty of a Best Friend) and i rolled my eyes in extreme sensitivity as i am always adept at! no serious... i could understand to some degree because that night i was feeling kind of down too.... with my own boy troubles.
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that following saturday i had an interesting experience. the chinese at work for a while have been wanting me to go to their annual "overseas chinese landscape architects" open house... say what? whatever... it was an opportunity to show people how gay i am because i can "decorate" and also show people what a pig i can be at a chinese buffet! after that, i was forced to drive into the loop again because i had apparently told esau i'd hang out... so again felt obligated to go have two beers at JRs (hector and reynel were there)... even better... Esau was late and didn't show up till about 20 minutes before i eventually left. haha... i sometimes just am not amused by that boy.
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i saw a few movies with people. i saw the queen with mr. d. and that was really good. we had dinner after that. and this evening i had dinner with him at zake's... which he loved. at first he was a little flustered because he didn't know "how" to order.... it was cute. we're in an interesting place now... we're "friends"... but at the end of the evening... we still kiss to say goodbye... not tongue now... just a very european peck. it doesn't really feel wrong, so i'll see where it goes. but i dunno... i like where we are now.
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and what a nice segue to the trivial discovery that really isn't so trivial. the "other" man in my life... my urban cowboy. this past weekend, i told him i may start calling him my retro-phile as well. both terms would be applicable to this man. but lest i digress. so that first weekend, when i ended up going to the best friend dinner with esau.... i originally had hope that UC was going to come back into houston (he usually does... but he works mainly near dallas during the week)... and i had waited and waited and waited. i eventually did just call him but his cell phone was out (he had told me he had issues with it the week prior so i wasn't all that perturbed).... but then nobody picked up at his house either. and so i didn't see or hear from him friday...or saturday... or sunday. honestly... i was feeling pretty shitty about it.
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here is a man... finally.... that for some strange reason... i feel happy with. he makes me laugh... and he intrigues me with his trivia... and he's soooo into me.... but beyond that, he just makes me interested in finding out more about him. he's one of those characters who is so embullient and overspilling with personality... but ultimately in the end, unless he wants to tell you things of any importance... you'll probably not be able to find the real "him".... i dunno... its challenging. and as i fall more and more for him... yes... i am falling for him...silly things kind of worry me... like... do we "look" right together? he's so talll.... is he just a rice queen? he's 36! but for some reason... alot of those reservations just seem to blow away when i think about how much fun i have with him and how for some strange reason... he feels good to lay next too. there is one thing of a physical nature that i don't like of him right now.... which is one of those weird things i see as "signs"... his hands don't really fit mine when we hold hands... for some reason... they feel "bony" to me.... i dunno. but lest i digress.... so i eventually found out... he didn't come into town that weekend because he was swamped with work... AND well.. he says... he was so busy he didn't have a chance to call until Monday.... well at least it was Monday. and it did sound like he was genuinely apologetic for not calling and also not being able to come... which i appreciated.
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but it was my reaction that weekend... that just sullen mood of trying to get "over" it as fast as possible because somehow i have already decided that there again was another man... who seemed like such a good mutual connection... but then wasn't really so mutual.... and now he has jetted! well... there hasn't been that many men for god's sake..... brian was only one... fantastic... date... and then he disappeared (after talking for another week!) and actually what i did to danny is similar... to this day... i'm not proud of just jetting out of his life w/o even a goodbye... but i did TRY once i remember... when we went to that play.... i just didn't have the balls to say it. GOD! trauma from the John and Adam experience... oh my god... another cryer! anyways... i dunno... UC has me hooked on him.
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and so that's why i was so happy...actually was happy.... that he came in this weekend. i met his interesting roommate... and there's one thing i have to ask UC about... why he's all weird and non-affectionate when she's around... i'm pretty sure she's knows he's gay... but then again... he's told me that he hasn't ever had "the" talk with his folks... but that his mom has invited his previous boyfriend over for christmas and all that jazz before. anyways...we'll see. i spent the night with UC AGAIN friday night.... telling my folks that i had gotten drunk... haha... i dunno if that will in the end be a good effect or not. but i did want to stay and it was too late too make a more pleasing reason plausible. we had great sex that night... not that we ever have had "bad" sex... but i dunno... that night it was awesome... awesome... haha.
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i saw him saturday and sunday... saturday for him making steaks (YUM!) and hanging out really with his roommate as well...who is fine enough. and sunday he came over to "my" side of town and we had noodles and walked around the hong kong city mall. i told him he was the first white "boy" i brought to that place... which is true... since i haven't really lived here, or even gotten a chance to seriously "date". i also somewhat broached the "dating" question. in conversation the difference between being a slut and dating came up... i said i think they are two different things... and he asked what about "slutty" dating... i said... no, then that simply isn't dating then. and he asked... what are we?... and i said... we're dating. later that night.... i repeated it again...saying... i think we're dating... and he said... yeah.
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i think i'd like to "date" him... no.. i am sure i would like to...not sure yet about the boyfriend thing yet. but definitely potential. of all the "dates" i've had since moving here (it's almost 6 months!)... UC has been the one by far who has somehow strangely stolen my heart. i'm cheesy enough to text him saying "have a good week... i miss you already"... what a dumb fuck i am. well... this has been the third weekend that i have spent pretty much WITH him... 6 weeks since we had that faithful hookup... haha.... funny ways i land myself into "relationships"...we're totally gonna have to work on a cover story! so i dunno... maybe this coming weekend or next i'll ask him if he wants to "date exclusively"... who knows... he may be seeing someone else already... you just never know. and honestly i shouldn't get myself worked up... there's plenty of reason he's NOT the right one.... if we're really critical.
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funny thing is... if we just look at what's really important, i.e. he makes me smile just being himself... he's a great catch. and my heart, right now, does linger for his presence, and in his absense, it does, it does... grow fonder.
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posted by faux chink @ 11:05 PM
1 Comments:
You're such a romantic underneath that hard nosed Harvard exterior! I love it. Hope you have a great holiday and that things are moving along swimmingly with your old man. ;-)
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