The Problem with Big Sausages
so i have a funny fairy tale to tell and i think sammy will appreciate it if no one else. ;)
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once upon a time there was a young butcher who made the most delicious sausages in all the lands. people from all over, came far and wide, to taste his most amazing sausages. now although he would never really admit to it, because he was a man who believed in the phrase "quality over quantity", in matter of fact, part of the reason his sausages were so popular was simply due to the fact that they were, well... quite large. now, if you'll allow me to further explain. eventhough his sausages were so deliciously large, big sausages weren't really that uncommon. it had been an age old trick of many competing butchers to create bigger sausages. yet the difference with this young butcher was that he did not make his sausages longer, like all the other butchers...he made them thicker, larger in circumference, so that you could hardly fit all its wonderful goodness into your mouth, eventhough you loved to try. why was thicker better than longer? well, as all the silly other butchers compared with each other about how long their suasages were... well, mine is 8", well, mine is 10", haha, i have you all beat, mine is a whopping 12"... they forgot to realize that their customers found long sausages fairly... inconvenient. as they brought them home, some of the butchers had made their sausages so long that they would literally flop around outside the customer's grocery bags, trailing on the ground and getting all sullied. very inconveneient for the customers. but this fad, for having the biggest sausages relative to length was all the craze, and the poor customers could do nothing but acquiese. until of course, our thick suasage making hero came onto the scene.
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no one had quite seen anything like it. a sausage so thick and juicy and almost bursting at its seems with plentiful goodness. and so portable too at the same time. you see, that was the trick. to get as much goodness in as little real estate. while all the other butcher were so preoccupied with length of their sausages, although they be perfectly fine really, they weren't listening to their customers. more and more customers came to this young butcher and his thick sausages were the toast of the town. unfortuantely, our young butcher soon began to realize that he wasn't without problems himself. you see, since this young butcher made such wonderfully thick sausages, filled with his secret blend of 11 spices (suspiciously similar though to his uncle, the Colonel), the usual packaging available for his customers to take home his thick sausages simply couldn't hold them. it was often a comic scene to behold, as our young butcher often fruitlessly attempted to stuff his thick sausages into the narrow packaging tubes that the companies provided. barely fitting into the tubes and stretching them out to almost bubble thinness, the tubes often broke as they jostled around in customer's grocery bags. so unfortuanetly, instead of thick goodness going into his customers, they often were wasted even before his customers came...upon their homes. what to do!?!
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thank god though that this young butcher was not the only person who was willing to listen and think about customer requests. the young butcher's close friend, who also made the packaging tubes the young butcher tried to squeeze his thick sausages into, listened to the woes of the young butcher and a wonderful idea came to him. in a few days, he introduced a new line of packaging tubes which he aptly named "magnum" sized packaging tubes. in short, these tubes were simply sized larger, but this is really the genius of his idea from a marketing standpoint. in simply calling his new product, "magnum" size, it still allowed a degree of vagueness as to largeness in terms of length or girth. you see, this young packaging tube maker, i believe he was from troy, realized that he could at the same time listen to his customers who actually seriously needed larger packaging and also take advantage of all those silly butchers who "thought" they had a better product because they were "larger".
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now as it turns out strangely enough, these magnum packaging tubes weren't really much longer (since the original product was made to already encompass the silly fad of making longer sausages), but they were distinctly wider, as in circumference... to accomodate those thick sausage makers, like our young hero, the thick sausage butcher. therefore, the long sausage makers bought the magnums, inflating their already hot air balloon size egos, but also the fellers like our young butcher, who simply wanted to create more goodness for his customers. finally, he could slip his thick sausages into packaging tubes that fit like a glove, so that his delighted customers could slip his thick sausages into them, impish smiles of complete satisfaction spreading across their faces as they did. happiness filled the land, as customer after customer found the wonderful pleasures of thick goodness.
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it was amazing how the most wonderful things boil down to simple things like listening to your customers, having thick sausages, and a few more centimeters of latex added. our young butcher became renown throughout land for his wonderfully thick sausages, appearing in locales from lowly local fare to the high reaches of haute cuisine. any customer who appreciated the joy of thick sausage, was a customer to our beloved butcher. and let us not forget his trojan friend, who also listened to his customers. in return, the younger butcher offered his friend a lifetime supply of thick sausages always packed in his "magnum" sized packaging tubes. obviously, our trojan friend was one happy feller. and everyone lived happily ever after.
. the end. lunch anyone? thinking of some kielbasa.
I Think I Can Pencil in a Date Then
i was chatting with my ex this morning about how i'd like to go on a date. (nice that i can do that eventhough i also relish keeping him in the dark about the identity of the guy i have a psuedo-crush on) it's been so long. haha. now mind you, believe it or not, this is a different sentiment than getting laid...although i'm not saying i'd turn it down. haha. no, but i'd like to go out for a dinner and a movie with some charming, somewhat intelligent guy, even if i don't think we have anything in common. actually no, i take that back... we have to have something in common. lately, i've been on some "hanging out" escapades, i guess as a substitute for dating, figuring i just wanted to be friends, and i realized, even if you're just "hanging out", some people really are just not right... no chemistry i guess. makes sense though, i mean that's why some people stick as friends and some don't. anyways, point is... i miss the fun of dating, the flirting, from obvious to more subtle. it's great fun when you have chemistry with someone... in both situations of just "hanging out" to "dating".
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someone told me that i'm a pretty obvious flirt. am i? i wouldn't say that, well... it depends. i guess if i like a guy, who is being at least somewhat responsive to me, i do tend to flirt in a way. through witty conversation and innuendo. i mean, if the guy is just brushing me off, he can be the hottest thing in the world, but i'd eventually get tired of the game. it's those men, who aren't so clear that i find the more challenging, and therefore...sexiest. for example, mr. crush and i are suppose to "hang out" sometime soon, whatever that means, and it just tickles me silly in anticipation about it. not because it's "hanging out", but because its so unsure what it could be. i mean... seriously, he might completely imagine me as solely a friend, and i might just be spinning my wheels in fruitless imagination. but i'm like that, i can live a while on fruitless yet deliciously sweet and fecund imagination. not forever, but a while.
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however, i was also speaking to my ex, that this is probably a sign that i am really actually wanting to date for real, when i am coming up with fictitious, most likely that is, romances for me to indulge in. i mean, in a way, mr. crush is probably just a "mental placeholder" for a man that i would actually like to meet in a real way, well, not just real, but in a clearly set "dating" way that is. sigh... it just doesn't seem like i get to meet that many available men to begin with, let alone... interesting ones. but oh well, maybe all for the better, as my future is so up in the air and i wouldn't want to start anything that could become serious.
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i was joking that if i just penciled in a "date" in my datebook...scheduling book that is, i'd probably get one. only if i put my head into it. sigh... once in my life, i'd like to have one of those cutesy and romantic chance encounters that you'd tell your kids about... so this is how daddy and daddy met kids. HA! so much better than saying i met him in a sex club downtown... haha! and just in case you're wondering, i have never met any of my ex-boyfriends in sex clubs... HAHA!
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you know actually, i am too quick to say those words, because i guess i have already one of those experiences. i met my second boyfriend at a brunch with mutual friends and yes... one of those odd times where there was definite... mutual... electricity in the air. haha, i still remember the intense awareness of each other eventhough we sat at opposite ends of the table. yes, i remember trying to be extra witty even if i wasn't talking to him directly...showing off my wonderful intellect and witty repotoire so he could be even more desirous of me. haha. i'm so predictable its sad. sigh, he was a good guy i have to say... too bad i was too immature to realize it. just not the right timing i guess.
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ok, so, hmmm next week? got studio work, a paper to research, a psuedo "hanging out/date" with mr. mental placeholder, and maybe if i am lucky... and actual date. pencil that in for friday or saturday huh? ;-)
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I'm So Popular!
haha...not quite. but today i did feel a little popular though. well, it started out as any normal day would and i eventually found myself at my little part time job and i was surreptitiously checking email. when i opened my account i had found an email from a potential employer with the hopefully email subject title of "designer position". i opened it and read that they would like me to come down to new york for an interview.... whoopee. ok, mind you, its not a job offer but at least now i know my slough of resume letters i sent out before i jetted to dubai at the very least got through the postal service. heh heh. but that's not the end of the story. an hour later, checking my email again (it was somewhat of a slow day), i got another email from a firm i had interviewed with in houston (it was an allright interview) saying that they would like to offer me a position "if" i was interested. interesting statement huh? haha, but whatever. i'll sort of put that in my back pocket, along with all the rest (snicker snicker). and! today i also have a second...second interview with the most impressive firm i had met with in houston. it will be over the phone so no i am not in houston, although the warmer weather does sound nice right now. it must be beautiful there. this is the firm i think i would definitely like to work for if i don't find a better situation... haha, isn't that always the case? the best until something better comes along. anyways, so right now, i have sort of four firms in the mix. sounds like a healthy number i would suppose. sure is a lot better than what i was facing at the end of undergrad, only scraping by with one job offer! my my, how much better the times are!
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as sort of a side note, i am having a small quandrary. this firm that i had mentioned in houston that i think would be a great position in all honesty (but still hasn't given me a monetary offer... although expressing now twice that they would like to give me an offer) i think is pressuring me to figure out what i want to do. but honestly its a little too early for that. i mean, i know that business is good and everybody wants to sort of know before hand their staffing capabilities but i dunno, i'd like to explore other cities for residence. i mean, i think i have gotten over being anti-houston most definitely, but the thing is, part of me still wants to believe that i can also make a life here in the norttheast, where i have been for so long. i mean, i have been so east coast for so long that moving back to texas permanently seems foreign. but also seems so right because even though i'm east coast, i secretly like to imagine i am texan too. haha... it's the urban cowboy complex. but anyways, this firm is pressuring me to make up my mind, and finally in the phone conversation i had i basically said, you know guys, in houston, you are the best place i would want to be, but the fact of the matter is, i'm still also looking at other cities... not even just other places, but still also trying to look at other places as well. sigh, pressure pressure pressure.
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i guess i sort of have to revisit my goals. a lot of times i have realized in my life that i am presented with an answer that does make... most... sense... and if you just choose to frame it a certain way... it makes all the sense in the world. but nonetheless i am often uncommital, always on the lookout for something potentially better. haha, it's something like relationships i guess, always looking for something better when right in front of you, you got what's bests for you. oh well, hopefully i can come to my senses soon and take the responsibility of choosing.
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Dream Bigger
so...i just got back from dubai last night! what a trip! overall, it was a lot of fun... very exhausting but also a lot of fun... just how a sponsored studio trip should be i think. so yes, i'm just gonna roll through what i remember doing so get ready baby.
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so first of all, let's mention the long ass flight to dubai. saturday afternoon... first a seven hour flight to amsterdam that we just got in on time to board... i sort of forgot that international flights require sooo much lee time. my goodness! anyways, the flight was allright. i did a considerable amount of the reading i needed to do thank god but also had the chance to watch a movie and play some video games. the airplane had this great on demand entertainment system so i didn't have to watch something i didn't want to watch you know. so, after seven hours we touch down in schipol... mind you, "boston" time, it's like about 1 am now, and schipol its like 7 am i think. anyways, we had about a seven hour layover so we took the opportunity to go into amsterdam and of course... look at architecture. mind you, it wasn't really my idea, but someone in the group wanted to check out borneo sporenburg which i've seen like twice already but still, seeing it again...from a more "urban design" perspective was interesting i have to say. i have to say though that the jet lag was seeping in and so, as boston time became more like 6 am, i was really starting to phase out. after borneo sporenburg we went back into the center city and had a tourist breakfast and then took the train back to schipol where we boarded the second leg of our journey... to wonderful dubai. now, this flight i had to sleep. so basically that was what happened, sleeping and eating airplane food... which was hmmm... acceptable. we finally got into dubai at about midnight their time, which is about 4 pm boston time so i was feeling allright, since it was still "day" in a way and i had slept so much on the airplane. the city on entry from the sky really was kind of cool. right against the ocean and then sharp skyscrapers just sticking out of the desert! i don't have all my pictures organized now, but when i do, i definitely will post kids.
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anyways, a note about jetlag. i think i faired allright in general. but allmost every day of our short five day stay was absolutely exhausting... meeting and cab rides and more meetings, blah blah blah. i mean the city is fascinating but we had to go through lots of beauracratic jumbalaya with different offices and sort...which will be helpful ultimately since this is a studio project but still, some days it was horrible. one day, not only were we tired from the schedule, jet lagged, but we also were starved as well... having completely skipped lunch... very cranky afterwards. haha. overall though, it was ok. coming back, we chose a good time. getting in here in the evening and just going to bed at the normal time. i have to say i woke up very early today though so i guess i am still aclimating to everything.
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ok... first day in dubai! what did we do! well, it was first a meeting with an architectural group in dubai, who were located in one of the most iconic buildings it dubai, teh dubai towers. its actually two towers in the complex, one being a hotel, the other being an office. after the presentation by the architectural firm, which was allright...despite a desintegrating coffee cup incident (interesting!), we stopped by the hotel and rode the CRAZY glass elevator up like 5o stories. it was a little vertigo but lots of fun. later that evening we returned to this bar at the top of the building which was some fun shee shee time in a typical building top bar...pretty cool. i have to say i still like the top of the hub on the prudential building but it was cool nonetheless. anyways, after that meeting we went to the american university at sharjah, which is the city right next to dubai (they basically abut) and basically well...wasted our time. i mean i guess our perspective might have been different if we weren't so tired...mind you, this was our first day in dubai! anyways, after a much needed nap and then a very native quick dinner of "kabob" we went to this bar i was talking about. had some great conversation with fellow studio mates getting to know them... and actually i have to say i checked off one of the things i have been meaning to do for the longest time. that is, to become friends with a lesbian... haha. actually, its my "butt-mate" this semester and she's turning out as a pretty cool cat. actually we were talking about potentially setting up some sort of "sexuality and gender" seminar on architecture, design, and space here at GSD...something i actually think would be very very interesting. yay... i know lesbian. haha.
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the second day, we found ourselves at a meeting at the dubai municipality...basically their governmental planning department which in general was kind of interesting, not really but kinda. after that was a meeting with a developer group called nakheel, which is the group making one of the most iconic developments in dubai, the "world" and the "palms" development... basically these completely artificial land development right on the ocean... theya re crazy. despite only being raw land right now... the idea that this is the outcome of just dumping rocks and sand (which funny enough is not desert sand but dredged sea 
bed sand)...is mind boggling. actually what is mind boggling...or more mind numbing is the appropriate word... are the plethora of tacky models we saw everywhere. i mean...development is the religion of this town, and these models are like the constant reminders of those gods. but still, from a "design" standpoint we were thinking all the time... oh my god... i can't belive they are building that... not in the oh my god... that is cool way... but in the oh my god... i really can't believe they actually are going to build it. believe me... this is the city of suspension of disbelief. this was the day we were completely starved so the first thing we had to do after getting back from nakheel was eat... and i believe that was the night we found a little cafe outside and just had more local fare i believe. and then sleep...ahhh... sleep was great.
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the third day actually was a lot of fun. the morning was an early start but the meeting was actually overalll very good. we went to a second development group called dubai holding which wa sdeveloping a place called "dubailand"... which is basically the town's bid for something like disneyworld. you know, despite the craziness of all the development ideas here in dubai, i have to say that each individual developer really are adamant in believeing that they should be doing these kind of things in the first place. still, there needs to be that suspension of disbelief that i was talking about. on one hand it feels like if you just stop asking questions, everything could make sense, but on the other hand, its blatant "vision" 
is so mind boggling that you can't help but say... what the fuck? after dubai land, we had a free day, which finally started the "fun" in dubai. some of us wanted to go to the crazy indoor ski slope that supposedly nestled right in a mall. ok... hello...indoor ski slope in a mall in a desert... haha... surreal!!! anyways, four of us finally went to this abomination and in general you know... in a completely touristic mind... it was a lot of fun. i mean come on... when else will you be able to say that with two hours time, you went from a snow covered slope (in a desert) to lounging around a pool (in the desert)... from ski boots to flip flops! haha. that evening we had a great dinner of lebanese food and had an enjoyable walk through the older part of the city. oh, the older part of the city is actually fairly regular...and in that sense kind of more interesting typologically in that sense that it is more easily understandable i guess... i mean, all these other developments are creating a new kind of urbanity for sure... which makes it by nature interesting... but because its so problematic already, you wonder if it is actually any "good".
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anyways, enough of that architecture crap. ahhh... finally our last day in dubai. very fast four days and every day was so chock full. it was nice to have one day that was just kind of lazy even though it was still fairly busy. so, the plan was to go this waterpark called "wild wadi" (wadi is the local term for a dried riverbed) but at $40 a pop i was like...err... i think i am just going to the public beach next door.... which was a lot of fun! i am glad i did that instead. this was the "jumeirah" beach.... don't you love that name... jumeirah... its like jew mare rah...rolls off the tongue well. so yes... this was also the beach right next to the famous "Burj al Arab" hotel, which suppoesdly is a "7 star" hotel, whatever the fuck that means. i mean, its a pretty cool hotel on the outside... you can't go in unless you are a guest so i dunno about the inside. anyways... the beach was fantastic. we went before noon so the sun wasn't too strong but it was clear and a little breeze... beautiful water! absolutely fantatsic sand...very beautiful. had a very very nice time. when the sun was getting a little too strong we headed back to the hotel for a shower and then had lunch at a nearby place. after that, i had to go buy some 
souvenirs and explore more of the city so i did that. got some tacky local souvenirs and had to haggle a little bit for it but in general it was a lot of fun. they call their shopping areas here "souq" pronounced like sook. we meandered through the "spice" souq and then the "gold" souq... really fansinating structures though. actually, going back to urban design again, one thing i thought was very interesting was how tight the city fabric was, so tight that it basically did not allow cars in some place and these areas were lined with shops and it just felt very very interesting. i believe the desnity of the build structure might have been a result of trying to maximize shading opportunities in response to the climate. i mean, in a weird way, its interesting to understand an urban fabric that inherently responds to the weather in way that creates a fabric so different than your "conventional" western city. i mean, its that sort of tension between the past and the native and the present and the foreign that makes dubai an intersting place urbanistically... the two worlds really are side by side and intermingling. for our last night in dubai, we had a fantastic dinner of spanish tapas... that was WAY WAY TOO EXPENSIVE... haha... i think i spent like 125 dirhams, which comes out to 
be about $35...well.... actually, now that i calculated it...its not THAT bad... but when youa re usually spending less than $10 for other meals... hmmm.... well.. its ok to splurge. haha. if anything i should care about how much i smoked in dubai. dubai is one of those places you can pretty much smoke anywhere...and where the ciggs are dirt cheap. one guy in our group bought packed for 35 cents...packs!! my own marlboros were a very very affordable $1.50 more or less.... haha... much better than $6 - $8 would you say? hence i bought like a carton...heehee. i still am planning on quiting smoking on my birthday so i got only two or so months to puff away... might as well be economical about it haha. .
ah, finally our trip back to the states. a headache panging 7 am flight which meant we had to leave the hotel at like 5 am. surprisingly i didn't sleep the first leg, that to amsterdam, but on the second leg i was totally wigging out. i am not sure if it was just because the seat was uncomfortable or what but i tried to sleep but i was having a headache and my noise was stuffed up and ahh... just felt like crap in general. did 
get to see pride and prejudice though which i love and i think i should get the dvd now that i think of it.... " you have bewitched me, body and soul, and i love, i love, i love you". haha...love it. oh, short little story though... but apparently on our amsterdam boston leg, a poor lady apparently had "heart" problems and we had to make an emergency medical landing somewhere in newfoundland. whoa... so i kind of got to go to newfoundland...haha. we finally got back to boston about 7 pm boston time which was great. after getting home, i actually decided to completely unpack, do laundry, and even watch a little TV... just to start feeling back at home i guess. this weekend is not going to be too much fun though, as i have lots of "catch up" to do with readings (which i did a significant amount on the flights but still not enough) and just get done with shit. actually i just realized that i was late on some credit card payments, guess all that runninga round at the end of last month it must have slipped my mind or whatever. anyways, back in boston, and back to real life. .
dubai was very fun. i am glad i went. i got to know studio mates and hopefully made some new friends. and hey... it was a free trip. can't beat that.
On Your Mark, Get Set, Dubai!
hello readers. since i will be leaving for a country that practices government enforced internet censorship, i am not sure if i'll be able to log on and write entries... so just in case you're wondering where your fearless leader has gone to. i leave for dubai tomorrow evening, actually i leave for amsterdam for a seven hour layover (any ideas for diversions? yes, that's exactly what i was thinking too) and then tomorrow relatively, i'll be flying amsterdam to dubai. just in case you don't know where dubai is, i think i'll enclose a map... its near saudi arabia... and if you don't know where saudi arabia is, then stop reading this blog... you failed the prerequisite smart test.
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i am excited to go mostly because i hear it will be like 85 degrees and sunny the whole week and there's always the potential for swimming in the ocean as well...wooo. other than that, i think i am also just curious about seeing the country's supposed pyscho development... enclosed artificial ski slopes, underwater hotels, biospheres that have machinery to generate artificial tornadoes sucking chilling air from the stratosphere. who knows. this kind of stuff definitely scares me and thrills me at the same time... i like that feeling indeed. its like being in love... haha.
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right now i am in the midst of trying to figure out what i need to bring so i am not bogged down with work when i get back. unfortunately this is not a vacation and since i know i am not going to want to read jack while in dubai, i will have utilize the air plane time to do so, which is good enough...considering that in total..it will be at least 20-24 hours of flying time. i can read probably everything for the semester in that span of time. haha. but still, its in my nature to sort of just think of it as if i am not ever coming back. but alas, don't worry dear reader, barring disasters out of my control, i intend most definitely to come back to the states and begin wooing the man i have falled in love with. haha.
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In the Mood for Love
haha... i'd like to tell all the negative two people who read this blog that i think i'm in love. it's sort of has half dawned on me numerous times before but maybe its the approaching valentine holdiday that just made my mind drift towards a clearer crystalization of my feeling...despite ultimately being just another day dream. but ahhh, yes... i am in love. i have come to know a certain gentleman that pervades my thoughts with distinct periodicity, from the hot and heavy visualizations of us potentially getting it on that float in and out of my imagination, to the quiet subtle rememberances of conversations we've had and jokes we shared and uneasy silences we've held. its funny how such a feeling dawns on you.
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when i first met this fellow i didn't really figure much into him i have to honestly say. i had just gotten out of a relationship (no bad feelings) and i guess i needed time to re-tool my brain. maybe that's why i didn't see him at that time for the utterly desireable person i see him today. maybe. or maybe its that he has also changed as much as i have maybe. at first seemingly aloof, i decided to play the game as well, never initiating any meeting or conversation but always simply replying. however, do not think i was ever passive. no i am too cunning for that. indeed, i was such the flirt. and i realized, flirting is great fun. and maybe that's what we had at first was simply just flirting... skirting the issue of attraction with thinly veiled pokes and jabs of good natured fun and naughtiness. honestly its the time in a relationship i enjoy the most... when you are really getting to know someone but with distinct sexual edginess. and funny enough, my need to sort of not really think in sexual terms i think aged our interactions like fine wine... mellowed with a bouquet of what might be possible, if we only let it. its that sort of potential that is like electricity i think... of course, the person, well both... must have that primeval, elemental spark to begin with. chemistry... it's all in the pheramones.
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hmmm, a little side track, but one of my favorite scenes in Angel in America is where one of them is smelling the other and he says something to the effect that scent is the most intimate of the senses... little molecules of one person being taken in and wonderfully registered like fireworks by the other.
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haha, i'm not excatly sure what he smells like though if you're wondering. but i do know how he makes me feel. its not necessarily that he tries to make me feel good, but in some strange way, his kindness is palpable, and his clumsy earnestness is enduring, and ridiculously sexy might i add. he's the man that i secretly look forward to talking to everyday, not so that we can flirt more of course, but that we can pretend like we're not flirting. he makes me laugh in an effortless way, and he surprises me with small histories and facts that i find usually trivial but all the more revealing about who he is. he let's me make fun of him with my witty repotoire but shoots me down when necessary. in an unassuming way, he reveals a person who i'd love to hate... no not hate... but love to... hmmm. all i am thinking of is a good game of tennis with a friend who is just as able as you are. on one hand, its the thrill of being able to beat someone who is just as good at the game as you are...or just as bad, depends on how you see it... and on the other hand, its the thrill of simply just playing, seeing what else can arise from a game of tennis.
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i wouldn't say he's anywhere close to what i'd always thought "my" perfect man would be, but somehow, he has grown on me. all i know is that i look forward to seeing him again and he inspires the silly fantasies about "life" that i indulge in in the sweet moments before falling asleep or fully waking. he is a man who has never tried to woo me, and he is a man i have never tried to woo, but like two magnets, its simply a matter of distance before you find them sticking. as carrie would say... there's often the bada bing bada bang.... but only once in a while...do you find the za za zoom.
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sigh, but dear reader... in reality... that harsh state, this little love of mine really is just like two magnets... that just haven't been pushed close enough yet. and i fear that the polarity of the earth moves much faster than you realize. but sweet nothings are sweet nonetheless. in a perfect world, this might be a man, despite his many imperfections, and my virgo like obsession to pre-determine any potential union as disastrously failing... this might be a man who would, if love is a leap of faith... inspire me to jump.
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Looking Within Yourself
thoughtful image i found that makes me think of my life of late..
Get Yo Swirl On!
yet again another late post but interesting nonetheless. well currently i am in the throws of the second week here now back at gsd and the classes and what not are starting to settle into a predictable pattern. i've also started my part time job as a "administrative assistant' without much fanfare. this week though is also the week before i head off to crazy dubai so i am growing more and more excited about that as i type this. i'm thinking, sunglasses...check, sunblock...check, linen pants... oh got to get that, and now's my big excuse to. heehee. it should be a fun trip and honestly even though i have studio i am taking it sort of non chalantly and just doing "whatever". i'm just excited about the trip mostly i have to say. but i have to say the research i am doing is revealing a very very interesting place. my weekdays are pretty ordinary i guess... classes, working out (still trying to figure out a "good" time to go, and so far i have been fairly adamant about doing a good degree of working out), working, reading, and probably watching too much tv.
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this past weekend was fairly fun. on friday, i went with my friend ira, who since i haven't mentioned before, is a good friend of mine here at gsd. she a lovely black woman who has a few issues and since i like crazy people, i enjoy her company thoroughly. anyways, she also has to deal with my crazy habits trying to micromanage the student exhibition wall i coordinate with her. anyways, so we saw previews for this film last semester called "Something New" (eventhough i swear it should have just been called "Swirl") which basically involved a love relationship between a black woman and a white man. fairly predictable plot, but overall i think it was a fun movie because it really took more the "black" perspective, as the white man was trying to fit into "black" culture. anyways, there were some interesting nuances i gathered such as the cultural limitations or more stereotypes of educated professional black women as havinga difficult time of finding a commensurate black man for relationships or marriage. interesting huh? also like issues like "black tax" were fairly interesting.
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i had a continuing conversation with ira about race afterward, being a minority myself, i also have particular perspectives about fitting into a white dominated world and having to negotiate situation to situation. one interesting thing that i think is worth mentioning is how minorities seem to be automatically deemed "crazy" and "rash" if they happen to feel to express inequalities that they palpably feel set against them. Or in other worlds, if they feel that racism has been directed against them and they make a hoopla, all of the sudden, they are even further disengaged because they are trying to make a ruckus, to shake the boat. but one must ask, than where and when else can they attempt these obvious transgressions of true equality. or more insidiously (but with some critical awareness) they are automatically labeled as "reverse-racist". a questionable term not in the sense that it has no validity, but still, the actual definition i think is very murky. in my own experience, sometimes i feel that that best way to retort what i gathered has been "racisms" directed against me, is baiscally through wit and humor... to sort of turn tables, but always in a funny way. so what if i became directly angry, as you think i would be entitled to based on such arbitrary acts like racism? would i just became a crazy asian man? just like a loud mouth crazy hostile black woman... who knows.
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its funny that they say that inside every white gay man, is a black woman. heh heh.
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saturday i went to see another movie. this one slightly more cerebral and worldly. i went to go see syriana with this guy named mike that i met through sam. he's a nice enough guy, but i am not exactly sure where to place him yet on the "interesting" spectrum. although i think he has alot of things that could be interesting to talk about, he seems somewhat reticent about them though. then again, i tend to overlord conversations i know... but still, after a while i was thinking, man, i am doing a lot of talking. either he's bored or i am boring. i will give him the benfit of the doubt and think the latter although then that doesn't help me out much if i really am that boring.
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interspersed through the weekend were also some palsy attempts to do studio work. blah. such is the state of my interest in work... mind you, not interest in dubai, just interest and motivation to do actual work. haha. i just want to go to this crazy country dude.
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yesterday i had dinner with kalina, my old old old friend from governor's school back in tennessee. it was a thai stuffing experience but i always enjoyed her company. she was over here for a funeral of her god mother but the conversations didn't really touch that all so it was relatively light hearted. of late, i've noticed she has become a christian which is kind of surprising and funny at the same time. and this is not one of those "regular" christians, but she's quite affirmative about it... making saying grace an affair before dinner. i had a short conversation, warning her not to become one of those "crazies", but oh well... it seems she is having a good time with her "church" and i guess that's what prompted her to join in the first place, that is, the social benefits of such organizations.
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ah, other than that i guess i don't have much else to report. i have been doing a significant amount of work lately trying to figure out odds and end for the businesses i am managing for mom. you know overall, eventhough its sort of like a pesky little pest of a task, the experience and exposure to the sheer "inefficiency" of other people in doing what you ask of them, is a revealing experience. only if i didn't have to continually call people back and double check everything... and now you wonder why i lend towards micro managing! haha. oh and speaking of job related activities.... Congratulations! to me. i just got my first real job offer. well, i'm like half excited...more for the fact i just got an offer (so early!!!) than for the fact of where the offer came from. it was from the architectural office i interviewed with in houston where i hated the carpet and they didn't really impress me that much. oh well... they offered a healthy salary which rasies my hopes of good bets in houston. somehow i wa sthinking the salaries would be pretty slim but actually what they offer is not too bad and who knows with some finagling maybe that figure could even be expanded to something truly...hmmm.... luxurious. HAHA...yeah right... you'r ein architecture lest you forget. still, the idea that someone has put money where their mouth is... is refreshing!
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sooner or later thoug, i will have to figure out this whole thing about getting a job though. sigh. why can't i just play forever...heehee. have you ever felt like excited for all the stuff you could be getting into but still plagued by lethargy or fear? sigh, such is the dilemna of late 20 year olds. my friend, JJ, is just going to turn 25 now... 25! crazy.
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So What Studio Are You Taking?
so what studio are you taking? the most asked question of late, even a fill in for the regular "hello, what's up?". such is the life of a design student i guess. in my last entry i mentioned actually what studio i am taking or more specifically where that studio is taking me actually. because in essence that's all i really know about the paremeters of the studio, that is will focus on dubai. other than that, because its not sponsored by any specific interest group, i.e. developer (like in Budapest), we sort of are just going there to "look around" i guess. but we have done one reading and i have basically come to regard my image of dubai as... "las vegas on lsd made by louis vuitton" with a dash of mussolini and al queda. freaky, no doubt. but it should be eye-opening at the very least. check out this link to "The World"... a really fantastical (note, i did not say fantastic) luxury residential development that basically looks like an archipeligio representing roughly a map of ... the world. tada! .
what other classes am i taking? well since i did an extra module last semester i actually am free of two credits this time around...so all i am doing is taking a full course real estate field study class (which i fear to say may become a "second studio") and then a housing policy class with a 2 credit dash of a course called "design of housing". all in all 18 credits. i was actually toying with the idea of taking more, if only by audit... but my wise friend chris explained it this way. what's your "goal" this semester. easily said for me, it was to focus on the job search and get a good job. that being said, taking extra classes doesn't help that goal and indeed might take away from it. true true true. and after going to the first RE class... man it looked pyscho... so maybe i should hold off on the ambition. funny mentioning ambition or at least conscious ambition... out of my 5 classes last semester, i just found out that i got "high passes" in 3 of them... pretty cool baby. the other two were just passes, and unfortunately it included studio... but...eh... i've never seriously considered myself a good designer so i'm not surprised by the grade or disappointed. i am surprised about high passes in the other classes though...heehee. nicely surprised!
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i can't wait to graduate i think. but then again... "life" this semester i hope will be fun. who knows, lately i have been itching to have another love interest. maybe just a little fling haha eventhough i say i am so over those things, but still... flirting is fun. anyways, running errands has pretty much pre-occupied me the past few days. i just bought a cute "care package" for the guys i worked with over break... you know, just to seem like a "nice guy" haha. and i have been going to the gym with a vengence... i recently clocked my weight at like 184 and that kind of freaked me out... maybe it was also right after eating too, but still... i'd like to get down to 170 again... even 165...eek. haha.
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i've moved to my new studio spot today and today we had our first meeting for studio and i also did a quick tete a tete with pod mates trying to at least try to be "nice" at the begginning. it's my last semester here and my last semester probably as a "student' ever again...so yeah, let's work those social skills a little huh alex? heehee.
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